Before we begin let me say that these views are my own and that I realise a lot of people were disappointed in Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters but come on... it was sorta fun, right?
The classic fairytale gets a new twist as Hansel and Gretel grow up to be the greatest Witch Hunters the kingdom has ever known. No matter where they are witches had best beware as a world of hurt is about to come their way. When children start to go missing in a small town, Hansel and Gretel are called in to put a stop to the witch plague that appears to have gripped the village. With children missing and a prophecy about to come to fruition, Hansel and Gretel are about to meet their toughest witch yet.
There's no denying that Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters is a bad film, it's so bad you may not be able to scrape the stink off you as you leave the cinema. However, for those of us who love our horror cheap and tacky, Hansel and Gretal Witch Hunters provides some quality entertainment even if Tommy Wirkola as writer and director fails to execute some really good ideas when taking the film from page to screen.
Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star as the witch hunters in question, in fact the only reason this film made it to the big screen is probably because Renner is attached to the project. Both Hansel and Gretel have their issues, abandoned as children, nearly eaten by a witch moments later, life for the pair hasn't been easy but at least they have each other; in fact Tommy as director might want you to think they're a little too close for comfort in certain scenes! It's shallow but it does set the tone for the entire film which really is an exercise in stupidity from start to finish.
By the time you reach "The Sugar Sickness" comment you'll either be begging the film to end or like me be howling with laughter right through to the closing credits. There are films that go beyond bad into the realm of entertaining; Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters is one of those films!
It's easy to see how someone could be sold on this film in a pitch, there were elements that screamed epic action horror but they came and went with a fizzle and a pop, if there hadn't been exploding heads, decapitated women and Jeremy Renners nipples along with a tightly encased bum of Arterton then this film would have been a total loss but fortunately Renners nipples were on display, Arterton's bum was sheathed in the tightest material known to man and heads exploded like popcorn in a microwave!
Add Famke Janssen to the mix as the evil that plagues the village, then BAM you've won me over, it's just a shame she was always in that grotesque witchy make up. She's much more powerful when she's starting down at you from those lovely features of hers! It's also a shame that Tommy whats his face didn't try to give the witches a deeper motive for their quest when it came to stealing the children of the village.
It's easy to hone in on the negatives though because this film is so terrible but I had a lot of fun in the quagmire of despair this film created for the audience around me. From the exploding heads right through to the decapitation of ugly witch folk that needed to be dispatched as well as Arterton's terrible American accent that made her foul mouth hilarious!
It may be the stinkiest cheese in the cinema at the moment but I really liked Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters, it provided gore, mayhem and Jeremy Renner; you can't really ask for much more than that when you look at the title of the film in question.
An unfortunate mistake with a lot to offer fans of cheese, Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters is a modern marvel in how not to make a film but by god the mistakes made are indeed hilariously entertaining as a result. Taking on witches with an arsenal of weapons that look like they were rejected from Universal's Van Helsing, Hansel and Gretel is one of the campest romps in to action horror that you will ever witness.
For me? Thoroughly entertaining.